Rather than grab life by the horns + ride this crazy train to the end of the tracks I am overwhelmed by my self-inflicted *need* to compete with the awesome that is my life. I wake up, ready to take on the day with a semi-ambitious to-do list…only to feel my entire being melting as I think about how I can’t be as good as I should be. I can’t meet my own expectations…expectations I feel like I’ve already lowered multiple times…how the hell am I going to take on life + even come close to meeting the expectations of others?
No. I can’t fix it. There is nothing I can do. Well, that’s not quite true. There is nothing I can do to directly affect the situation. All I can do is stand by my friend, offer up support + be there to encourage whenever possible. So, that’s what I’ll do. Because that is all I can do.
Over the last year I’ve heard a lot of advice along the lines of “don’t get in a bad headspace”. I got the gist of what they were saying – to me it was ultra runner speak for “keep your head in the game”. However, I absolutely HATED that phrase for years. It felt insulting and when someone asked if I was in a bad headspace I felt belittled and judged, as if they didn’t trust me to think my own thoughts. A little extreme? Maybe.